If there is one topic I know us as Queens hardly ever get tired of talking about is Relationships.
More specifically Romantic Relationships😍😌
In our session with the lovely Rubie Targema-Takema who is also the Founder of FOCH WOMAN, we learnt so much about Relationships and I can’t wait to share all the good stuff with you.
Rubie answered basically 4 questions;
– How did I know He was “The one”?
– How was I sure?
– What did I look out for?
– What did I struggle with on my way here?
And when she was done, She gave us her top 5 tips with navigating this aspect of our life.
Keep Reading for all the tea ☕️
How did I know He was “The one”?
I think it is first important to establish here that for any woman, “The one” Is the person you pick as led by the Holy Spirit.
So in the grand scheme of things, it is down to choice.
The real question here is “How do I equip myself to make the best choice?”
There’ll be more than one godly man around you, more handsome, wealthier, funnier men than one etc.
So how do I pick from this pool?
How do I equip myself to make the best choice ?
1) Your relationship with God must not be slacking.
You recognise only the love you know. If you haven’t been loved by Abba, you won’t even know what true love should look like.
So me, I started with my relationship with God. I was so in love with God that when He came, I saw him as a distraction first.
2) You must get to know yourself.
As much as it’s preached against in Christendom, you must realise that your preference has been put in you by God.
It can be corrupted by the flesh, but as we behold God, we are transformed and purified from any impurities.
There’s a reason the man in the crowd that no one notices catches my own attention and not the man that everyone knows
It might be different for you so get to know yourself, strengths, weaknesses, giftings, etc.
3) Finally, you equip yourself to make the best choice by living and walking in purity.
It’s not every Christian man you meet that is husband potential. Sometimes, just have friends, get to know people, no ulterior motives attached.
I had/have so many friends of both genders, even before I made my choice. It allowed me see the world wholly and purely. So maintain a pure heart to make the best choice.
How was I sure that He was “The one”?
I was sure because I subjected the relationship and us to 3 things:
– I subjected us to time
– I subjected us to counsel
– I subjected us to prayer
1) Time – Time is a revealer of men. Give time to get to know someone. People who meet today and start relationship tomorrow. Allow time to test things for you. Don’t rush anything. Every good thing takes time.
2) Counsel – I spoke about him to my parents, mentors and trusted friends. I asked about their own experiences and I shared mine. Counsel will help you see what you’re missing.
The reason some of you miss red flags is because it’s only your eyes that’s seeing the relationship. Please, subject it to counsel. Tell people you trust and allow them let you see from other perspectives too.
3) Prayer – When we started courting, it was getting so deep. I had prayed before we started but I still wanted to pray more because Me, I’m marrying only once 😂
So we both agreed to take a month off. No communication that month, we both went into our secret places and prayed. Particularly for this matter.
We had agreed that even if God said no, we would both walk away, it will pain oh, but God’s will was greater than ours and that was all that mattered/matters.
What did Rubie look out for?
1) I looked out for the Holy Spirit in a man.
Me and the holy spirit have a very very rare and beautiful relationship. I needed a physical manifestation of that, so I looked out for the fruits of the Holy Spirit in a person.
2) I looked out for a friend.
I wanted a partner and husband, but I really really wanted a friend. So we didn’t start dating immediately we met till a year later. Within that year, we became paddies😂 As in really good friends, we talked about any and everything!
3) I looked out for a teammate.
Someone that will run with me. Remember that this is a spiritual journey! We’re supposed to chase 10000 together. I looked out for someone that will do that with me.
When I started Foch woman podcast too, he listened to all the test episodes and gave feedback before I started making public episodes. So a teammate was important for me.
4) Finally, I looked for someone I was compatible with.
I’m a very vocal person, I have a lot of friends, I preach and teach often, I also struggle with being vulnerable emotionally. I needed someone that would compliment me in these areas and more.
Like I said earlier, I’m the one that’s mostly attracted to quiet guys, I looked out for that, I needed someone that won’t be angry or intimidated by me in the spotlight because the person understands that it is all for ABBA’s glory, not for any of our glory.
I needed someone that will be patient with me as the Holy Spirit was teaching me to be more emotionally available and vulnerable, so I looked out for the person that was already that, so I could learn from him.
Interested in knowing her answers to the last question and her Top 5 Tips for navigating this stage of our lives as Queens?
Then you need to keep being on the lookout because we have a Part 2 in a bit with the rest of the tea.
See ya in the next post, Queens!😍
Young, Saved and Beautiful(YSB) 
🥺🥺
This was really great
Thank you
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So Glad you enjoyed it, Queen!🥂💜
Expect Part 2 in a bit!💃💫
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